i want to rest now

you followed me annoyingly, and took a deep breath
trying to catch me, who's leaving you alone
i grabbed your shoulders tightly and loudly said "we're through"
that the farewell poison has already, without you knowing, spread in my heart

the disease where my love is slowly dying
it hurts a little, but i don't want to get better
every single memory is erasing
going back to the times when we were strangers,
i want to rest now

like having played with fire for a long time
everything has burned, and only ashes remain (only ashes remain)
like how even the first feelings have become faint
everything has become useless (useless)

facing you and taking your hands, with a bitter smile, i said "please, be happy"
to find a person who will soothe and embrace the scars that i've left you

the disease where my love is slowly dying
it hurts a little, but i don't want to get better
every single memory is erasing
going back to the times when we were strangers,
i want to rest now

though it hurts too much now
some day, you might
wipe your lips as a kiss triggers an unpleasant memory
trying to erase the warmth you felt when i held you in my arms
cold tears will wash you

the disease where my love is slowly dying
it hurts a little, but i don't want to get better
every single memory is erasing
going back to the times when we were strangers,
i want to rest now

(this song hurts me a lot..juz like it was dedicated to me..)
by super junior-love disease.

10 july 2010..

arinih macam2 jadi..
tak tahu nak explain dr mane..
seronok, marah, geram, nak menangis, kelakar, unexpected and also unpredictable..
really on that day, everythings happened to me..

i've got a meeting with shawol's malaysian members..
it was really awesome met up with you guys!
i hope we can still have a gathering in the future, just like this one..
(actually i'm looking forward to dancing class..heh..when are we'll be having eyh? =P)
emm,but what i can say is.. daebak! and gomawo... hehehehe..
we wrote our 'love message' to taemin together, took photos, and also, ate secret recipe's cake! hee..that's the best part i think..=p
komap sumnida!!!but anyways..shinee world malaysia hwaiting!SHINee hwaiting!
(please do arrive safely and take care of youself, for those that are going to korea to send the bufday present to taemin..)
i wanna go to..iskkk..maybe next time, perhaps? hehehehehe



this is them..
victoria - dayana
sulli - huishian
krystal - adiba
amber - sandy
luna - shaheeza

hope will join u guys on the stage..ready to rumbles!

lepas meeting, pergilah pulak jumpe 'musuh baek' ku..am yg selalu perasan macho..muntah ijau dohh..bahahaha
mase lam monorail ke ts, sumpah org rmai cam sardin kottt..
keluar je dr monorail, tetibe aku perasan wallet aku hilang..ntah bile lah kene rompak ngan penyeluk saku.. f**k
sumpah bengang, panik,marah,sume lah aku time tuhh..
tetibe je menangis aku sorang2 kat ts (buat malu je, adeyai.)
aku call ayah aku,die marah aku balek
call makcik aku, die cakap die nak dtg kl amik aku balek rumah..
lglah aku serabut, banyak bende kene pikir..dahla sorang2 time tuh.am lombap giloo nak sampai.huh
antara bende yg hilang :
duit rm 70 jerr.. (jer??!!),kad atm, ic,kunci loker kat kl sentral, n yg penting!pic taemin, name tag taemin!argghh!wtf!??! ..
even pic ngan besfren aku yg leyh jumpe setaun sekali pon hlg..iskk..
bile am dtg, terus hilang rase sedih sume aku tuh, asyik gelak je.cam magik gtu.ahaks!
btw am, thank you very2 much..really appreciate it..u're really2 my bestfriend in my whole life..u'll always be there for me (jiwang seyhh)
u've helped me a lot of things today.. =D
n thanx for the shades, buat sy jd cam artis sehari tuhh..agagaagagagaag..

lepas lepak ngan am n d gang, aku lik kl central sorang2, dah pukul 8 camtuh
then aku g info centre,nak settle prob bout kunci loker, dahla barang ade lam tuh,camne nak amik..
then die cakap kene buat report kat balai polis ctu..tp balai polis ctu suh pergi balai polis brickfield..adeyh..
sampai ctu buatlah sume report, bla3..tp naseb baek, everythings went smooth..
balek2 kl central, aku gi balek kat info centre..
tp sumpah aku rase happy n kelakar gilew..(heheheheheh, org tertentu je tau knpe.. ngeee =p )
aishhh, memang happy arhhh!bahahahahahaahahah!i won't tell it here, top secret.kalau nak tahu jugak, sile dtg jumpe sy. =P

p/s : thanks to 'you' to..tot u're mad at me, maybe u won't help me when i asked bout the direction.. thanx for ur concern also, even it jez only a lil'.=D

nanun noreul saranghaeyo.. =D

noona neomu yeppeo..
michyeo..
replay, replay, replay...



hell yeahh!
i really wanna go to that dance class, be apart of the person singing and dancing in that mv created from that club..
but unfortunately, jojo n ring ding dong, they have already make those vids.. T_T
so maybe replay is only my chance uh? =D
i'm really looking forward for the dance competition..
(i can do better than them.. =P)



juliette...ouhhh.!
yohaneul bachilkaeyeo..
this is the second song that i can perform..errr..i guess so?ahahhaha
their song are really nice uh?heee

for god sake,
i really wanna meet them..
n yeah, i know, i've been completely damn obsessed with these namja..
they've actually have already come to Malaysia, for the fans meeting..
but it was held in JB! arghhh! wth!?
which was on tuesday,25th of may 2010, at 3 to 4.30 p.m (only 1hr n 30min..isk)
ok, i'm really sad at that time..
y they didn't do it in kl!?!?!arghh!chincha!
so in the end, i wasn't able to attend the fans meeting..
hm, perhaps next time i'll get this opportunity again??

banyak songeh betul!adeyai..

'mely, apsal ko suke kumpulan nih?seriusly cam budak2 weyh dorang neyhh..nampak tak matang siot!'

'HAHAHAHAHHAHA.barang2 kumpulan neyh ke ko bli?berape weyh total..?..what!?!?!150++? ko tak rase membazir ke???dahla barang dorang cam barang budak2 sekolah je..kelakar la ko nih!'.

'ko muke nampak matang gile, tp apsal perangai ko gile2 je ha?tak de ciri2 matang langsung?'

'u boleh tak jadi lembut ckit,sopan dan ayu sket..guys suke perempuan yg macam tu..i prefer girl yg camtu'

'ko tak rase malu or segan ke bawak or pkai barang2 yg cam budak2 niyh?HAHA!!'

'ha!?!?!ko suke budak mude skg!?!?!mude dr ko?ko biar benar??!stok cam ala jambu2 pilihan ko!?!?nih ke mely yg aku kenal sebelum nih?!'

'ha, u sesuai ngan guy yg cam ala2 baek, jambu2 cket,pendiam, coz u cam type yg kasar n gile2,cakap banyak,plus muke cam matured je..'

haihhh..terime kaseh la di atas ke 'concern' nan anda sume..really appreciate it..
and skg, tibe nye mase untuk sy menjawab soalan2 yg anda tujukan kpd saye.(soalan ke?)

1.aku bukan type yg hipokrit..if that guy tak suke perangai aku yg betul2 nye, so lantak die.. that's myself,and aku selesa ngan perangai aku..selagi aku tak de kuar perkataan carut, leyh jage batas, reti hormat org, tu dah kire ok..kan?kan??(tetibe setuju sendiri..)

2.budak mude???errr..entah..maybe sebab dorang lg senang jage, n senang dengar cakap perhaps?agagagagaga..tp seriusly tolong jangan kenalkan aku ngan org tua dr aku..mude tak pe..HAHAHAHAHAHA (err)..but seriusly,i like guys that are younger than me is not becoz of the face,i don't care about it at all..maybe becuz i'm just tired deal with the people that are same age and above than me?

3.eyh, suke aty aku lah nak suke budak sekolah ke, tadika ke, yg penting dorang letoppp ok?tp ade due org dr grup tuh same umo n tua setahun dr kite lahh..errr..

so, saye harap saye sudah menjawab soalan kalian ye..




p/s:being single is fun ok?n that's me. =D

50-50

sometimes i feel like wanna give up on study..
it just like, maybe i've found something that i'm really good with..
but i know that my parents will not support me at all if do that kind of thing in the future..
ya, i know that 'thing' doesn't have good side from any view at all..
perhaps, maybe becuz i'm a 'muslim' also..
so that may be kinda hard for my wish to come true..
but i'm really good in that kind of field..
is not like i want to appraise myself or 'bangge2 kan diri' that i have that kind of talents or what..
but what i know is, when i'm doing that kind of thing, i'm really enjoy it..
goshh, life is so hard..
when people forbid you to do one thing that u're really desire to do so..
ur intention to do it will be increase slightly,it's vice versa..

but now,
that 'thing' only remain as my hobby only..
maybe that good for now..
i guess..


p/s : i really want to meet him..dear God, please make my wish come true..