reunion dak pearl lace?



budak nih aku paling rindu nak mati. lama tak mengarut ngan ang weyh.kembar ku. HAHA



budak sengal nih pun rindu jugak.. tak sabau nak enjoy dohh



rindu ang. rindu ang. rindu ang. full stop. huh!



tak sabar nak meronggeng weyh.. bulan 4? set ja!

i hate stalkers

i love to make frens, but not with STALKERS!
just plis, go away from my life.
i dun like u, plis understand me.i'm giving u d big hints.
dun call me by other "WEIRD" name.
it's freaking me out, u're so annoying.

i love you.. yes i do..

i'm madly deeply in love with you..
you're cute,
you're naughty..
yes i like you..
{=^_^=}






he's cute, isn't he?
love you.. =D

blame

yes aku jahat, aku dah change.
i'm not d old mely dat u guys knew bout me..
i'm way different..
*sigh .. juz dun care what people sayin bout me..

if jadi baek, dikatekan jahat..
if jadi jahat, orang kate aku dah berubah..
sudah lahh..
===================================================
guys jahat?no komen..
gurl cakap guys ske maen kan prasaan gurls..
guys plak cakap gurls ske maen kan prasaan guys..

if dua2 pihak ade pendapat yg sedemikian..
lemme say it out loud n clear..

"selagi tak de timbulnye rase percaye kat seseorang tu, dun u ever say dat 'fake' word.."
fake=i love you

sume ni terjadi disebabkan 'trust issue'..this is d truth!



trust is d main ingredient in all relationships..
without 'trust', ur relationship with sum1 will last n remain as memory only..


d grave is opening slowly..

badan aku lemah sangat, aku penat,nafas aku sentiase sesak saje sekarang
aku kene kuarantin 2 minggu..
sepanjang tempoh rawatan..
sakit dan ngilu nye badan aku, seperti ade jarum yg nak keluar dr badan..tuhan saje yg tahu..
aku kene pantang 3 bulan pemakanan aku..
nasi lemak, kuih muih, tom yam, nenas, laksa, ikan keli, sambal belacan..kebanyakkan
makanan tu sume makanan kegemaran aku..
tak ape lah..walaupun 3 bulan tempoh yg lame bg aku..
tp aku bersyukur, aku tak kene pantang seumur hidop aku seperti org lain yg senasib dgn aku..
aku susahkan banyak org..especially parents aku..
dorang sanggup ulang alik dr perlis ke kl tetiap minggu semenjak dpt tahu tentang perkare ni..
aku betol2 dapat rasekan dorang sgt2 risau akan keadaan aku..
'kakngah sihat saje lah mak abah..nothing to worry k..'
agaknye mungkin dorang selalu dengar kes macam aku..selalunye akan berakhir dgn keadaan yg tidak diduga..
kali ni aku betol2 rase cam susahkan diorang..
ni sume salah aku, disebabkan kedegilan aku yg melampau..
tp apekan daye..nasik sudah menjadi bubur..

aku betul2 berharap aku dapat pulih secepat mungkin..

"kakngah,atam pernah tengok org yg macam tu..
care die mati..memang seksa sgt..
atam kesian tengok perempuan tu.."

aku dah faham kenape parents aku risau sgt dgn diri aku..
thanx for supporting me when i'm facing this kind of disease..

i want a boy hair cut!

ntah,cam cooolll jew aku tengok..maybe sebab dah busan asek rambot panjang.
besides,rimas tau rambut panjang nihh..
susah nak jage,tambah2 rambut cam aku nihh..
tapi niat murni aku nih dibangkang oleh bebereapa pihak pembangkang :

acap :
i ske lah tengok rambut u, cam ade curl cket2..ori ha?cantik lahh u.. (kalau aku potong mesti bising gile mamat nihh.HAHA)

maira :
mely!nak rambut mely boleh???!!rambut maira dah pendek!benci lahh!orang salun tuh silap potong!pffffftttt!!!mely jangan potong,lempang karang,dah cantik dahh rambut tuh..huh

maktam :
atam ske tengok rambut kakngah macam nihh..nampak cantik.. (bangge dohh.HAHAHAHA)

a guy :
i ske gurls rambut panjang.besides,i rase u tak sesuai rambut pendek lahh..yg skg nih pun tak baper panjang,bese je(tak baper panjang?nak tunggu sampai bontot baru ko nak kate panjang?adeyai)

sab :
jangan nak potong..biar je lah camtu..rambut mely dah ok dah laa..

am :
rambut ko cantik ke mely?cam ala2 kembang tuh?HAHAHAHA (budak nih memang mengundang lahh)






rambut aku satu ketika dulu.. ='( rindu wehh





yg skg?huuu..tp aku lg ske boy cut's hair.. wuu




change?

i've juz discover something NEW bout myself....

-aku ske bermekap skg nih.ntah,rase seronok lak.tak de lah mekap sampai jadi cam badut sarkas tuh. {@_@}

-aku ske lepak kat umah je,bile weekends je..lepak at may aunt's house..(fyi,9/1/2010 was the last time i went out to kl,n i went there also bcoz i have 'something' to deal with,i'm not 'lepaking' like i used to b when i go there) so,dah lame dah lah tak tengok wayang,shopping,bla bla blaaa... {+_+}

-aku ske pakai yg simple,tambah2 yg plain shirt n dikenekan ngan jeans je..slurps!my fav shirts,all white k,u can find those in my closet.. =p

-aku dah tak ske bermesej2 nih.ntah apsal ntah lahhh..so sape2 yg nak kontek tuh,harap maklum eh sal tuh..bukan aku sombong,cume TAK DE mood.. {-_-'}

-i LOVE to make a lot of friends.but friends that i made most of them are guys,their status-in a relationship.aku kan ske cari pasal? *sigh.tak de lah.kawan ngan org yg ade status camtuh, makes me comfortable..comfortable in a way of..'takkan mengharap ape2?'.tak faham?tak payah faham lahh,janji aku je yg tahu.HAHA. (wth i'm talkin bout?!) {O_o}

-i love pets!OM-I-GEE!ntah bile plak ade prasaan TERsuke lebih lak kat binatang..soon i'm going to have my new buddies! mr turtle n mr.hamster! {=^_^=}

-i know how to manage my money soO0oO well!huu!big improvement ait?kawan2, dengar takkkkkk? HAHA =D

-guys cakap aku makin kasar?gals cakap aku cam makin supan?errrr..ntah lahh..yg penting,aku makin rajin study,naseb baek turun jugak hidayah nehh..insaf dah.. {T_T}

-aku lebih ske berdiam diri,drpd banyak bercakap cam dulu2..(yg nih aku akui,CHANGE a lot sangat2)


=========================================================

but quest is..y am i change to b like dat?there's 'something' triggers it..





love them! =)

being a puppet

"mak ngan abah kasi green light je..n dah discuss ngan maktam..nanti kitorang discuss ngan tokngah,die maybe ade kenalan yg boleh tolong uruskan"

aku tak mintak semue nihh terjadi..what's happening to my life now..GOD,pliss show me the way, even it is only juz a lil' bit..

ye,mule2 seronok, pengalaman right..but skg, rasenyer d big reason of y i must doin this is..
' because of d secret dat might be know by sum1 dat i'm trying to escape myself from dat person'..

I HATE D WORD'S 'SECRET' NOW FOR GOD SAKE!



mak ngan abah tahu tak, u.k is miles,far away from malaysia?
is dat d best desicion for me dat u can eva think of? ='(

S.E.R.O.N.O.K.

harini bes,g PAHANG..huu..
saje2 busan, g lepak sane..bes kott..
environment sane bes..sunyi..banyak bende kaler hijau..haha
PATOTLAH am ko slalu balek sane..
aku g lepak banyak tempat...penat kott..
jumpe my auntie kat temerloh..rindu bangat kot kat die..
bb boy die yg comeyh,yg malu2 ngan aku,geram btoll..

yearh,aku ske bb..seriusly aku ske..tapi aku tak nak kahwin..
i dun believe in marriage now..
tak pe lah,maybe tak terbukak aty lagi kott..

then arinih lik ke shah alam lik. =(
otw lik rumah.....

"kakngah2, sini ke tempat die?"

"hm?tempat sape?"

"sini kan gombak..ape lah kakngah nihh..HAHA..dah la tadi masuk lepak uia gombak..maktam bagi signs tak faham2 lagi..HAHAHAHA"

"ouhh..okieyh2.. [faham sgt maksud maktam aku..perli aku,saje nak ingatkan aku..jahat.. ]

tibe2 aku teringat..
u ade contact i,which is very2 unexpected..i really2 dun expect it was from u..
after what have happened..
but it's ok.. =)


i had a very amazing n splendid journey with them, thumb's up!

(am nanti jum kite meronggeng pahang same2,dah busan lepak kl,HAHA)

quote

"....lelaki yang cintakan seorang perempuan akan sanggup buat apa saja untuk bersama dengan gadis yang dicintainya. Walau apa pun yang berlaku....."

i found this quote from sab's blog..

n one quote from sum1 dat used to know me well..till now..

"....before we meet our MR.RIGHT..usually,we'll meet MR.FALSE at first...."

but quote from me...

"....if the love relationship can't be save,dun blame it on anyone else,either us or the other party..cuz people will not b escaping from doin mistakes..n,perhaps,it's becuz of.. 'tak ade jodoh'..if ade jodoh,bad things will not happen in our love relationship or our marriage life,as things will run smoothly and perfectly juz like we want......"


at first i forgave u..but know,i dun think so..i'm hurting

kali kedua terkena..
tak faham la..
knape benci sgt kat sy?
sy ade buat ape2 yg buatkan awak marah dgn sy?
sy ade sakitkan aty awak?
awak nak sy mati ke?it's dat ur dying wish?
awak, kite tak de hubungan keluarge pon..tak de pertalian darah pon..
tp knape awak marah sgt dgn sy?sebab kes yg sy pernah buat tu ke mase bulan 11?
sy bleh faham knape awak marah dgn sy disebabkan kes tu..
tp, kemarahan awak tu melampau drpd kemarahan orang yg sepatotnye marah dan benci dgn sy..
kenape awak ade perasaan yg sedemikian?
sampai sekarang sy tertanye2..ape yg membuatkan awak marah sgt dgn sy..
sampai sanggup ancamkan nyawa sy..awak dah tak ade perasaan simpati terhadap manusie?
awak, sy tak suke perbuatan awak..tolong hentikan..
walaupun sy masih lagi boleh bertahan dengan ugutan2 yg awak selalu HANTAR dekat sy..
alhamdulillah, diri sy masih lagi KEBAL, sy dapat menepis sume tu..
awak, tolonglah kembali ke jalan yg benar..walaupun awak selalu doakan keburukan untuk sy
tapi sy selalu doakan kebaikan untuk awak..
walaupun diri sy tidak mempunyai didikan agame yg lengkap..
tp, sy tidak tergamak untuk membuat perbuatan yg awak lakukan terhadap sy..


dan sy dapat rase..sy akan terkene kali ketige plak..mungkin sampai bile2 sy akan terkene..

awak=seseorang makcik yg pernah aku syg dulu,walaupun die benci kat aku..

tak faham

y am i being too cautious now?sgt2 kott..
even bende kecik,aku akan fikir jauh gile,sampai dah menyimpang dr landasan yg sepatutnye..haihh..
trase stupid d ctu..memalukan diri sendiri je..
sensitive?ha,nih lagi satu aku tak faham..aku sensitive gile kott..
mood aku dah tak brape stabil skg niyy..apsal ntahh..
maktam aku tak bleh amik aku kat kolej pon,dah bleh buat aku sentap gile..pelik an?
adekah prasaan ini normal je bagi seorang remaje yg hendak berubah menjadi dewase?(aku dah 20 kott....)
aku tak ready lagi lahhh nak jadi dewase..tlglah ilangkan perasaan ini secepat mungkin..

la la land

"huh?tak de orang lain ke ko nak cari?orang lain banyak je lagi?aku jugak yg ko nak pilih"

"alaaa melyy..pliss la wehh..aku rase ko je yg sesuai"

"tak mo..tak mo!tak mo!"

"plisssssssssssssss...(sambil membuat muke yg comey tapi sebenarnye lagi buruk,konon2nye begging lahh)

"yolah2,aku akan fikirkan dulu..nanti bz dowhhh..camne ngan study aku nanti?!camne ngan date2 aku nak meronggeng bersame rakan2?
tak ke terganggu?!huhh.."

"ha,yg tu..pandai2 lah ko pkir..bukan masalah aku..HAHHA"

"sial la ko"

aku malas dohh nak masuk band2 nihh..suare aku sedap?wth?!aku ske nyanyi,tapi tak de lahh sampai nak perform depan orang..
sebabnye simple..nanti lau femes, ramai peminat lakk..ahaks!(geli GILA ah statement..padahal nervous nak mampus lau in public to deliver something..haih)
gile ke korang nak suh masuk af lah, hape lahh..sume singing competition..
lemme say it out loud.. 'AKU TAK BERMINAT!parents aku pancung aku nanti'








sy sudah boleh bawak kretaa!tengok lah,tengok lahhh..!
kagum takk?HAHAHAHAHAHA
-jangan terpedaye ngan gambo..huh.. {-_-}

what's happening to me...



=============================================================

what's happening to my life..
i really dun have any idea bout it..
i dunno what's exactly happening to me now..
when i'm trying to make things become better,it turns out to disaster..
now i know,i'm really not gud in making on whatever decisions..
i'm always screwed up on every single thing..

every morning,i'll wake up,to do d usual thing..subuh prayer..
n after i've done my subuh prayer..
tears will fall so fast,non-stop from my eyes..
i'll cry on the prayer mat as soon i've finished recite my 'doa'..i'll cry with all of my heart..
i dunno y i'll b acted juz like dat,juz after i've done my subuh prayer..it's more like a new 'habit' to me now..
perhaps becos of..
i'm really afraid of wats gonna happen..
when everytime i open my eyes, after having a quite long journey thru my dreams in my sleep..
n wants to create a new chapter of my life everyday..
as i've been thru a lot of rough times..
maybe this is d biggest task dat God delivered to me, n to see whether i'm capable to deal with it or not..
hm..i'm trying..i guess..still trying to holding on to whatever things dat i can rely on now..

sometimes..
i feel like i do not even know d real sides of me now..
not knowing myself well..
things dat r used to b so small.it will becomes complicated..thanks to me..
but i didn't mean to do so..i really don't mean it,im saying it out loud..
but i know..everyone will not hear me..even my bestfriend..
if someone that used to love me now is ignoring me,dun have any trust of me at all now..
how bout the other people that r not so close n not knowing me well?i'm pretty damn sure of what my answer to it..

if only suicide is d last n legal thing dat i can do..
i think i'll have no hesitation to do it..
i'm fed up with everything dat happens around me..
there r too many things dat i've to deal with..
n it's haunting me now..
n up until now..i still can't get rid of any of it..
i'm really2 want to stop it immediately as i can't wait..n i can't take it any longer..

i'm changing..yes i need to change..
but is seems like there's a lot of obstacles dat i need to pass thru to change every matter of my life
juz like i'll always wish..
i know it's hard for me..

but..
how am i goin to change..
if day to day..night to night..
i'll only received bad news..bad news..and bad news..continuosly..
it's killing me softly..i'm not strong..
i'm fully regret of everything dat i've done in the past..
i'm still searching for the remedy to cure my hard-to-solve pains..

juz like one of my friend,yana,always said to me..
" 'shit' always happen my dear,u've gotta take n deal with it,it's spice of our life"

============================================================

it's hard for keeping a deadly secret of my entire life from someone..
which is i'm actually dying to tell dat person whats exactly happening at first place..
i know u discover it from me,judging me..u juz c it from outside..but deep inside,what's exactly happened 'behind of it' ,u dun c it at all..
i know clearly bout it my dear..it may be sounds odd to u..but this is d truth..
but i can't tell it..no, i can't let dat person know..
as if he knows......-but i do hope he'll know nothing bout it at all...
if u want to know.then i'll have to kill myself i guess..i'm not fooling around..
as i'm really tired of d really2 big prob dat'll b exist if he knows..
i rather die than face it..

but thanx to god..cuz up until now..u know nothing bout it at all..

am,ko pasti berbangge dgn hasil kerje aku nih.HAHA


nih gambo geli yg pertame..seriusly geelliii weehh pic nihh..dua2 muka sopan n suci gilee..bahaha..comel kan kitorang..eh silap,sebelah kiri tuh comel GILER VAVI ahh..harharhar..mamat nih seriusly pemalu tahap dewa masa time nehh,nyampah aku ngan ko tau tak?!..sekarang dah tak tau malu..HAA






nih pon die maseh lagi control kesopanan die..ha,malu2 lagi ngan aku..sekeh satgi kott..control2,tp ko still cucuk2 aku jugak supaya aku dapat melatah dgn cemerlangnye.huh






am semakin tak tahu maluu..semakin gile..dan semakin..semakin..yg penting..aku maseh waras..
picture proves it..haaa tengokk laahhh tengokk lahhhhh





haa..time neh memang gua sukaa arhh..kita merempit sama2 kott..gua tabik sama lu ahh..
(ha,nampak tak ada dua bijik,bende kat atas couch tuh?bukti merempit..astaga..)
p/s: naseb baek aku maseh idop..bersyukur ke hadrat ilahi..HAHA





awak..awak TERHARU takkk??pasti TERHARU kannn???mahahahahahaa


phobia

dah tengok cite phobia?

boleh tahan lar cite die..
stakat nih,ghost stories yg aku tengok, tak de lagi yg dapat menambat aty aku neh..
tatau lah ape yg takot, coz kadang2 antu die lebih kurang same je..
sebab tuh kadang2 malas nak tengok cite antu..sebab kadang2 cam tak takot pon..ridiculous ade lahh
if kalau nak tengok pun..juz nak tengok tahap mane kegempakan TAKOT nye citer tuh..
(bongkak gile cakap, pdhl macam2 dah penah KENA,pdn muke)

tapi an..cite phobia pon, tak de la bes mane pon..
tak macam yg aku tengok iklan kat cinemas, ctu macam bes,yg real?ha..
lam citer phobia, ade 4 citer yg berlainan..err..paham?
seriusly sume cite tah pape..
tapi aku ske cte yg ketige,rasenye dah berpuluh2 kali aku rewind bende alah tuh..
tapi still tak busan, agak pelik d ctu..HAHA
sebab, aku ske tengok 1 guy tuh..
guy yg mane?ha, pergilah tengok sendiri..
pergi download cite tuh kalau rase telebih rajin..
pergilah beli cd yg original if rase ade duit terlebih cket tak pun, cetak rompak kan ade?
last resort,rembat citer tu kat membe, for sure ade ahh.cam aku,HAHA

if dah ade, ha sile lah tengok,tp cte yg ketige tuh tak pakse pon tengok..
guy tuh yg jadi antu..bedol btul, guy tuh jugak lah yg jadi antu..takde org laen ke?haih

TAK HABES2 MENGARUT AKU NIY

my telephonee??ma ma my telephoneeee

d zaman yg sudah makin canggih nehh
hp tuh dah jd cam bende wajibul ghunah lak untuk sume orang ade hp larr tak mengire usia..
dah lar ade hp, 2,3 hp lak tuhh per person..(kate org, aku pon same gak,hhuhahe)
adek aku yg bongsu sekali tuhh, standard 1 pon dah pkai hp dah haaa
pulak tuh!nak hp yg mahal2, lau boleh, i-phone sebijik!
hey hello!ko nak buat ape hah nak hp mahal2??tak paham aku ngan budak kecik zaman skg..
akak ko pun gune hp time form 3 kot, tu pon cikai je..
tak adil btul lahh..

ape gune hp??haaaaaaaa..ade macam2...........
tapi tuh depends kat hp ape lah yg digunekan..
lau hp cikai yg tak de kaler tuhh, takkanlah nak kate ade function mp3 an?agak2 ar nak tipu sunat punn..HAHA
hp tuh functions die ann..
um, malas nak cakap, budak yg tak masuk tadika pon leh jawabb..harhar

APE NTAH AKU NGARUT NEHHH??

well, ape yg aku nak kate kann..
walaupon ade hp, aku rase cam tak de hp jee..
tak de kne mngene an ngan ape yg aku cakap atas tuh?hah, lantak lahh..

dulu seriusly aku tak leh hidop tanpa hp kott..i need it so badly lah!haiyaa
sebab..
1st-nak mesej 'orang'..hee
2nd-melayan lagu2 lam hp..pe gune an ade mp3 player?
3rd-err..menangkap gamba?HAHA

tapi skg..ape nasib encik hp tuhh??
kadang2 beliau terjatuh dr tempat yg tinggi,mujur lah tak patah riuk lagi..(jatuh dr katil double decker)
kadang2 terlupe nak bawak beliau pergi ke clas,kuar meronggeng ngan membe, or mane2 je lahh..sorry awak, sengaje buat2 lupe..
kadang2 beliau dibaling kuat oleh sy, dek geram sgt dgn orang,tambah2 dpt mesej dr orang yg sy nak sgt reply mesej die,tp sy TAK BOLEH reply, nanti bergaduh lagi..penat..jadi sy baling lah awak..boleh kan begitu?..KUATKAN sy boleh baling awak?..iron girl katenyee..
kadang2 sy lupe nak bagi beliau makan..sebabnye..sy pentingkan diri sendiri?heh..(makan=credit hp lahh)

beliau sudah banyak berjasa dengan sy, sudah banyak pengorbanan yg dikorbankan oleh beliau..
sy tuan yg sgt baik kan awak??
(lau hp tuh boleh bercakap2, dah lame dah aku kene maki hamun)

in other words,hp is not d thing dat i really need now in my life..after WHAT i've been thru..
now i realised it..
if it is d thing dat i can't live without it, then how come i'll be reacted juz like i mention above?
the way i treat mr hp last year is much differ than this year..
ntah..cam tak de keperluan dah rasenye hp tuu start tahun ni..
dulu2, aku selalu tunggu ade orang mesej,skg nih..ntah,tak tertunggu pun..
oranng lain mesej?ade je yg nak bermesejan ngan aku..tp tu lahh..TAK DITUNGGU pun mesej dr orang..sume2 lahh..lau tak dilayan tu..faham2 lahh..

tak de creditt??
bz maybe??
n if sume tuh bukan..maknenyee..AKU TAK SKE KAU LAH!
tp..ade sorang ni,i always wait for the mesej..sdgkan tak patot aku tunggu..
tp, bile die anta..aku suke..yerlah, tunggu mesej dr orang yg kite syg,sape tak ske..
tapi bile aku bace..ade prasaan menyampah timbul?
seriusly i want to reply dat mesej from dat person,yer la,mesej yg kite slalu tunggu2,tapi if balas,buat lagi perang dunie makin berlanjutan buatpenye?
i'm d peacemaker, not d hellmaker..
mane tak nyer,sume mesej die marah aku..
kadang2 anta mesej tergantung, aku ingat lagi mesej tuh dapat kul 9pagi..
sy tak faham lah awak ape maksud mesej awak tuh?
mesej awak macam tergantung je,bukannye mesej bertanyekan soalan..
pendek kate,sy masih suke awak ade berhubungan dgn sy,tp sy tak suke awak berhubung dgn care yg sedemikian yg selalu awak lakukan..-marah

kesimpulannye..
hp tak penting dah pun dalam hidup aku..
kadang2 tak bercredit..
if ade credit pon,jgn harap lah nak balas mesej sape2 je..orang yg berknaan je aku akan balas drp banyak orang2,huh..sorry cakap direct,tak nak jd hipokrit..
dulu if bunyi mesej je, mesti cepat2 aku tengok..
skg tak dah if bunyi bepuluh2 kali punn..sebabnyee..
tak de sape yg aku tunggu..
ade..sorang..






muke yg mengundang untuk ditampar sgt kan.HAAHA